There is an unmistakable trend these days of adult children moving back in with their parents, if only temporarily. This is because life in the 21st century has gotten so competitive, and so expensive, especially in large urban centres, that many children, especially recent graduates, simply cannot afford to be living on their own yet. If you find yourself in the exact situation described above, below are five tips for moving back in with your parents that will help make the lifestyle change easier on both you and them.
- Remember Your Family Is Doing You a Favour
This is perhaps the most important thing to keep in mind and will go the furthest towards making sure it is a pleasant, or at the very least, a less painful experience. After you are 18 years old, your parents are not obligated to take care of you like a child anymore. As much as they love you, they probably love their personal space as well, and by moving back home, you are probably intruding on it to a degree.
- Help out
One the best ways to ingratiate yourself, as any house guest, whether at a friend’s place, or your parent’s place, is to help out. If mom cooks, help with the dishes, if you are throwing your laundry in the washing machine, ask if anyone else has something they want you to wash. Helpful people are appreciated people and small gestures like the above go a long way to mitigating and minimizing conflict.
- Realize You Might Slip into Old Roles
Just because you are an adult and have had all kinds of great adult experiences, and maybe even know a thing or two about the world now, doesn’t mean that your parents will be able to avoid infantilizing you a bit. Remember, your parents have memories of you from every single moment of your life. They’ve seen you as a defenceless infant, a petulant teenager and now, they are trying to also see you as an adult. Don’t be surprised if you end up falling into old mother/father and son/daughter roles.
- Look for a Job
If the purpose of you moving back home is so that you can look for a job while saving some money, then actually look for a job. Nothing will make your parents feel like they are being taken advantage of, and resentful of you being there, like you say you are looking for a job, but actually spending more time sleeping or watching TV.
- Protect Your Sanity
If your parents are particularly overbearing, don’t be afraid, in a respectful way, to set some ground rules. The coming into your room without having to knock rule that existed when you were 15 shouldn’t exist when you are 22. It might also be a good idea to limit the amount of information that you share. If you know your parents aren’t going to be able to handle certain aspects of your adulthood or independence, you might want to protect them from themselves.
Moving back home is not ideal. While you want to get along with your parents, and you enjoy seeing them, they need their space, and you need yours. In order to make the transition as smooth as possible and minimize conflict, keep the above tips in mind when moving back home and keep your relationship with your parents happy and healthy.